yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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