yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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