So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
