why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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