Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
