i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
