I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
