he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
