Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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