I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
