how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
