remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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