They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize