sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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