for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
