do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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