How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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