It's just like the Real World with babies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
