it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
