Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
