why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
