so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
