he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No more Irish car bombs ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
