you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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