is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
