There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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