I want to stick my p in your. b.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
