she takes plan B like it's going out of style
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
