Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
