I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
