i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
