My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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