he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
