1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
