Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Im part way to drunk.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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