I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
