I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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