we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize