But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
