We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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