If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
