Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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