Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she woke up with a sticky ear
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
