She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
