David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
