She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
