It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
