don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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