A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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