Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
