so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
