Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
