i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
