im drinking this country out of the recession.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize