just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
