I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Life is so much better after having sex.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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