I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
