i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
