Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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